Crash, bang, wallop
She collided with the shelf
A free standing unit
Until she grabbed it to steady herself

Down did it topple
Raining glass on her head
Sending everything flying
Through the air, what a mess!

Wine glasses, flutes, tumblers
And a vase
All hit the deck
And smashed into shards

Oh, what a racket
And a mess to behold
The nincompoop just stood there
And couldn’t be consoled

But it’s no use crying
Over spilt milk
And in her inebriated state
The thought of cleaning did she jilt

Drunk and disorderly
She sent herself to bed
Knowing that tomorrow
She’d have a thumping head

So leaving shattered
glass
All over the floor
Off did she teeter
To think about it no more

In the afternoon
When at last she awoke
The carpet was glistening
As if covered in snow

It shone and it sparkled
Like a night of a thousands stars
She wondered what’d occurred
Until her memory was jarred

By treading barefoot
Onto a sizeable piece of glass
That tore into her instep
Causing her to curse

Jumping up and down
With stinging, bleeding feet
She surveyed the considerable damage
Shocked at the scene

Of all her lovely glassware
Lying broken on the floor
A shattered picture frame
A teacup that was no more

Oops, thought she
What a flaming disaster
I’d better get a shovel
And hoover up straight after

And so she did
And all was fine
Apart from the ****
Which would heal in time

The moral of this story
Is nail your shelves down
And don’t put glass atop them
If you’re a drunken clown.