At what height and what
position does one pose a
toilet roll holder?

Sit on the seat, then measure
half way between your knee
and your hip -

From this reference point, you
then take a vertical which is to
be again, half way between that
point and your shoulder.

This is the perfect location, then
pending on the dexterity choice
assuming there are walls both
sides.

Next thing one needs to know
and indeed practice is this.

It is known as the rat tail.

What is the rat tail?

Always leave the length of a
rat’s tail of paper hanging from
the roll. This is for the next
person, who could be Santa Claus,
                 because
(in the event of having an en suite)
there will be no need to turn on the
light in the night, thus waking the person
or persons who might be sharing
the room, or indeed the bed with
you (even dogs and cats).

Another observation.

When loading a roll of toilet paper
on the the holder, “NEVER” put it
in the anti clockwise position.

In so doing, the rat tail will be against
the wall and impossible to get ones
fingers behind it in order to unwind,
one will most likely be using the right
hand.

The rat tail should always be to the
front, making it easier to clasp.

Ps.

One last thing.

For those of you who do not have a
“Bidet” (NOT A FOOT BATH)
the best improvisation one can do
is a slight simulation by deposing
a collected amount of saliva and
spitting directly into the centre of
the final piece of paper for the last
wipe. It is a very effective way to
avoid skid marks on the sheets if
one is prone to sleeping au nature.

I trust you will fined this advice helpful
and every time you sit on the toilet from
now on, you will think of Ryan and wonder
what the **** is going on in his head.


Thank you.

Ryan ©

Pass on.

Happy Christmas to you all and remember,
Vegetarians do it more often.