I can hear the rush and whistle of the trees
My skin is so chapped from the Colorado
Wind
I’m not sure how to
Make it feel soft again.

I slept hard and pretty at peace
Hoping the sun will come out
On this final day
Of vacation.

To vacation
A thing I convince myself I deserve
Those closest to me reassure me
I in fact
Do.

I let my paranoia and the awareness
Of the lack of support I feel
I acknowledge
And decide to let it drift up and out of the window
Of my air b n b
Bedroom.

He’s got staple guns
And a bottle of ambition
I told him on the phone
I don’t wanna get in the way
He said you are no distraction
I give advice when he asks for it
Dreaming up plots and fantasies
He made a comment about adventure
Rope, he mentioned rope
I miss him dearly
I know he misses me too.

I too, let that float out of my
Air b n b
Window.

I’m broke again now
I should have budgeted better
Spending my money like a drunken
Or better yet
High as hell
Sailor.

How will I get by on this last day?

I drink coffee
I sat out on the patio
Ignore emails
It is nearly time to pack up
To think on all I have gained and learned.

He won’t be there when I return
His journey with cameras and fire
Is only just beginning
But I close my eyes
Let it drift out the window
And try to trust
For once in my life.