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Letters to My Exes #1

Dear Kailey,

 

Polyamory was not our downfall

I changed as a person

Much quicker than I anticipated

So I can imagine it felt

Catastrophic to you

Polyamory was not our problem

But it did highlight the ones we had

The reason I left you

Primarily was due to codependency

But more than that

It was your inability to compromise

I told you I needed space

You said you needed me

And that was the end of that conversation

When we tried to create boundaries

To help our adjustment to poly

What you gave me were rules

And when I tried to alter them slightly

You told me I was not compromising

I made my own mistakes too

Neither of us are perfect

And I'm not writing this to hurt you

This is for me alone

Because I've been blaming only myself

Since that night your parents took you home

Because you were blaming me

Or too harshly blaming yourself

It's not as black-and-white as that

This is not an attempt at

Relinquishing myself of blame

This is a bare acknowledgement

For me

That I am not bad

Even if I've done bad things

And I am not responsible

Solely

For your pain

I am sorry for my part in it

But I cannot

And will not

Let this responsibility weigh me down alone

Because I matter too

And it wasn't easy for me either

But it's OK

To love and care for someone

Without being in relationship with them

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Written by
Nicol-g
29 / Non-binary
Published
Aug 3, 2018
Lines·Words
47·249
Notes

This series is extremely important to me. It has drastically helped with closure over past unhealthy relationships. They were all unhealthy I'm largely different ways and I did not write these to take away my own fault in the breakups, but I wrote this to rid myself of the unnecessary guilt I have been carrying around because of things that these exes have said to me or the ways in which they treated me. This project is about self-love. Not about hatred or wishing ill will upon others, because I wish them nothing but happiness. This is for me.

Tags
#ex#love#relationship#closure#release#honesty#understanding#letter#feelings#growth
Permission

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