I couldn't tell you
That you were like the first sharp intake
Of breath,
When the cold winter air
Collides with my tired body

You were a beautiful mess,
A disaster,
A sadness.

I couldn't tell you
That you dragged me out
Of a deep, ragged hole

Then I wake up,
Shivering,
Reminded
And I am right back there

I couldn't tell you
That the curve
Of our bodies,
Your skin on mine,
Electricity,
Was a poisonous medicine

I couldn't tell you
That you had the power
To dissolve my resolve
And have me running
Back

I couldn't tell you
That our contradiction
Was what I needed

I couldn't tell you
That without you
I am free.