I stare down
At the food in front of me
My hands shake
As I pick up my cutlery
My family is watching
Ever so carefully

Cut the smallest bite
Chew forever
I feel sick while eating
Every bite feels like a failure
Everyone watching me eat
Gives me so much anxiety
Telling me to eat more
But I can’t
Because my stomach is so full of butterflies
I can’t eat
I feel disgusted with myself
I go upstairs
And I cry
Because I can’t believe
That I just ate a meal
I hate myself
The thought makes me sick
I can’t
I just can’t eat