On the surface I am calm,cool,and collected
I speak with compassion and reasoning
never from emotion
always looking to defuse useless arguments  
and tense situations

I seldom loose my control

But inside I cant help imagining
smashing everything around me
saying everything that came to mind
leaving this pent up aggression behind

I have no release
I just want to feel free

I hate having to be so civilized
but my mind doesnt allow me to bend
I want to regress and throw every bit
of wisdom out the door

To start to explore my darker side

but I cant and I cant figure out why..