I closed my eyes
Saw myself riddled in fear
Confused of what just happened
And in a tearful state of emotions.

I went out of the vehicle composed
Trying not to crack my nervousness
To hide the trace of guilt
And conceal the crime that I had done.

Yes, I am now a criminal
I have murdered my innocence,
My reputation and pride
I gave in to the temptation

I killed that thin membrane
That was slowly tearing down
The wall that separates my innocence
And the world of lust that I tried to hide

It was a brief 30 minutes of getting through
And pulling back out.
I thought I had him
His actions showed.

He's neither reluctant nor hesitant
He's sitting there like he wants to
So I slowly took initiative
aware of people around

I reached for the crotch
Now fall back again
And again
And again

I watched his expressions
But he had nothing
And Finally I reached my heaven
Only to be snapped by his elbow and legs

I pulled myself back
Confused
And nervous.

Didn't he liked it
He never said anything
Nor had he changed position
To show he doesn't want it

I was sorry for myself
Sorry for him
I thought of the person that I had become
A criminal that is punishable by law

And then it hit me.
If this guy confesses on public
I'd be done for
I can go to jail

Then I thought of possible ways
To get through out of the accusations
Tonnes of it come to mind
And then i thought again

What happened to me
The old me wouldn't run from the problem
Cause I know I was to be blamed
Of the mistake I did knowingly

And so I reached the destination
Nervous of what this guy might do to me
For he was snapping his fingers, and switching positions on the rest of the ride

I took my scary step out of the vehicle
The warm air of July felt like chills
And I watched him walk through the side
I stride as composed and fast as I can away.

I hired a cab towards my destination
But the ride was still meters away
I am scared of what might he do
Of those possible things

He can order an arrest warrant,
A wanted poster
Asked the van line for a ban
Or worse plan for a revenge

Everything was so scary
And stupid
And messy
And until now I can't stop thinking

I killed my innocence and now
Its revenge is slowly creeping
Lurking out there
Ready to strike