I love you. I always have, since the second we first met.

Any time I was with you, I felt blissful and at peace. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else. All of my most powerful or cherished memories are the ones that you're in.

You performing literally took my breath away.

You smiling made me feel alive and like I had a reason to exist.

You crying shattered me into a million pieces and I'd cry later thinking about you being sad.

You holding me felt like home or the closest thing there is to heaven on earth.

Carrying your books for you at orientation was the most purposeful thing I've ever done in my life. I was so happy just to be helping you with something, even if it was as insignificant as that. The other guys on the football team would make fun of me for the way I looked at you. They said I looked like a puppy.

I felt like a puppy. I adored you.

My heart would race every time the bell rang since I knew it meant I could see you. Listening to you tell me about your day when you called me during the summer was always the highlight of my day. I loved hearing you talk.

I loved being important enough to you for you to want to share your time with me.

I could never tell you how I felt.

I'd never liked anyone else before I met you.

Any time I wanted to tell you, it would get lodged in my throat and I couldn't breathe. Or I'd tremble anxiously, looking at the words on my phone before deleting them. It didn't feel that important anyway.

It bothered me more that you were hurting and I didn't know how to help.

I don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe just to actually put it in words for once in my life. Maybe getting it out will make it have less of a grip on me. I don't know if I should pursue you or not. I don't know if I even have a chance with you.

Even if I did, I don't know if I'm right for you.

All I do know is that when I'm with you, my life feels whole and perfect and peaceful even when nothing else in it is.