Sometimes
When I remember my dreams
I dream horrible nightmares
In which
I'm surprisingly calm

Usually
I get shot in the back
***** by a friend
Cut into pieces
And thrown
In the trash

I've been
Running
Hiding
From unknown threats
Dreams that usually end
With my own death

I've been
A ****** accomplice
To someone
I've never even met
Decapitating women
And washing their heads

It so hard to grasp
And I don't know how to tell you
But all these dreams
In which I'm dying
Are the ones
That I prefer