Maybe you just think too much.

You want to think.
You want to think that you mean something.
To them at least.
So you listen carefully to everything they say.
You swallow every word, every syllabel, every meaningless sound that escapes their lips.
Looking for something.
Something that might not even be there.
But that isn't going to stop you.
Oh no, it will only make you try harder, dig deeper.
You'll drive yourself insane, even cry over something that was never there.
You feel like a child
a child that wants a toy they see
so like that child you do everything to get it.
You see I am a child. And you my dear, are that toy I want.
you are the first colors a baby sees
the first tooth a child loses
the first love a person has
and the first nightmare I ever had.
And like all those things I will never forget you.
You have the beauty I try to capture but always fall short.
I stayed away for a while.
Hoping that these sentiments would leave and I could stop thinking.
I did.
But not for that long.
I came back eventually.
Like a dog you feed. It becomes a habit.
It was okay at first it was even fun.
but then it happened again
I started analyzing every cursed word you had to say.
I started looking for that something again.
I started looking for hope.
And now here I am thinking, thinking, thinking and thinking.
dreaming about love affairs that I havent had yet. Or even ever will.
playing out different scenarios in my head.
asking the always puzzling "who, what, when where, and why?
It's all a vicious cycle that you are in charge of.

But I don't know
Maybe You just think too much