i long for pleasant days. days that feel like new beginnings, days when i feel as if i am floating, when each and every fiber of my being feels content with letting go, tying loose ends, shedding dead skin. when my body no longer feels unworthy of occupying a space in this dimension, when my brain no longer allows toxicity to occupy a space within it. i long for moments of silence. solace for my soul, a place for the skeletons in my closet to rest their dust-covered heads. i long for happy summers. when i no longer fear the thought of love. when i no longer imagine love as an **** ****, devouring a flower bed. when i no longer imagine you resting in someone else's.