when i was 14
i saw the dancing children
like stars in the night
bleakening
and how horrid
that memory was
sitting
repeating
in my head
and every time
i look to the universe
a spike of hate
poisons me

3 am
yelling to a child
whom taunts like the devil
you ruined me i scream
you ruined yourself it screams back
like a rag-doll
it pulls me
until I am ripped into pieces
unknowing of
who the child is

the child grapples onto me
nails dug deep
red marks blistering
it whispers,
you won’t let me go
as a deep laugh roars from within it
the child no longer a child
but a daemon
who took over what was once innocent.
a realization
hits me.

creation
a result of the destruction
of the mind,
a play of words.
what cannot be fixed with fingers and tools,
but with patience and everlasting love
acceptance,
forgiveness.

the demon lets go
creating a lightness,
soothing within

kicking and screaming
it hits at the back of my head
but I pay it no mind
hand in hand with the child it smiles
waving its goodbyes

n.b