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Willoughby
Poems
Sep 2018
My Wife is a Sheep
Not figuratively, but literally. It's called zoo. Inter species
coupling. My wife is a sheep. But let me tell you how it all
began...
When I was ten, I knew I was attracted to animals when I put
lipstick on a pig and we made out behind the barn. Later that
year my uncle started hiding his dog Sadie whenever I came by
because I had to go to the hospital when I put peanut butter on
my ***** and instead of licking it off, Sadie bit it.
Later when I was 12 I couldn't help but admire the hind
quarters of my uncle's donkey. Such a fine ***, I mean donkey.
Hee haw.
I still keep in touch with Sadie, if a dog can keep in touch.
Needless to say we don't play fetch the stick, too many bad
memories. You know dog spelled backwards is God? So that
helps justify my love for Sadie.
Any way, when I was 14 I got arrested for fence hopping. That's
when you sneak into someone else's property and f*ck their
animals.
And it was only later when as an adult, I met my wife the sheep,
who is named Angelica, because of her white angel- like wool. I
met her on a animal *** farm up North called "Loving Nature".
It's a ranch where there is a whole sub culture going on. Like a
**** Noah's Ark.
A guy on the internet married us so it's bound to be legal. If she
ever has baby lambs, they will end up with my Irish nose. Just
kidding, ha ha.
So that's how I came to love animals and married my wife
Angelica, the sheep. PETA doesn't understand me but I think the
animals like it. I never heard one say no or stop.
Written by
Willoughby
M/West coast
(M/West coast)
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