Feeling lost.
Helpless.
Lifeless.
My soul has spiraled out of control,
Developed into a tornado of irrevocable emotion.
Confusion has become a hindering part of my every day routine.
Some ask for more time,
Time is just a constructed concept.
Seconds are useless without minutes,
Minutes are useless without hours.
The craving for more of it is useless without a destination for more happiness.
Happiness…what a socially praised detriment.
Happiness has become rare in the steps I take.
How do I feel happiness when I still feel the monsters hands wrapped around my throat?
When I feel the blade piercing my chest?
The smashing weight of the monsters body holding me in place?
No… happiness has turned to disgust of what I’ve endured.
Three times I’ve tried to take myself from the nightmares of the monster,
Once by hanging my soul from the rope.
Till “SNAP” the rope breaks and I was left gasping for any breathe I could gain.
Another by taking more medicine than should be regulated.
I laid lifeless among the white tile,
Only to wake up to see my efforts have caused nothing but a knot within my core.
Finally the third,
Where I raced through the wind,
Smashing my transportation into the end of an inatimate object.
Still no prevail.
Still my heart beats.
I’m left with the visuals,
The sounds.
The constant replay every time I close my eyes.
Nowhere to run,
Not even a place commonly referred to as home.
Homes filled with demons that constantly go back and forth.
I’m left straggling through the depths of a dark tomb.
I’m stranded feeling lost.
I crave sleep.
I crave dreams.
I crave the answer to what this life means.
Still I’m standing,
Lifeless,
Hopeless.
Dead.