Every single time she trys to resist, Grabbing the knife, Starting to cut deep. As her hands are shaking Her tears are flowing, She know it's only helping for a little while She needs the pain She can't cope with the emotion overload,
She know everyone says Oh wait she's just a typical young mum She can't handle it She's never been mentally stable But wait.. There's a figure of 10% of the young population who suffers from harming there self. She cuts because she can't talk She needs to harm her self without hurting anybody else. This is where she fails.. Not realising she's bringing everyone down who knows about her problem. But every days a struggle for her not to cause harm She knows she's shouldn't be thinking like this but she can't control it. It's spinning out of control. She wants to see a doctor but she can't. She's too scared loosing her child. She's still looking after him She puts her problems to the side She's not realising her problems matter the most If mummys not there, he's got nobody. Mummy needs her mind to be healthy. She's telling her self it is, It's different when she's curled into a ball, Crying like a ***** She can't stop the tears from rolling down her face. She just wants to run away.
No matter how much she tries She just can't stop, The urge is getting bigger and bigger every single day. She waking in the night She day dreaming about it. It just won't leave her mind. It's in me more and more everyday. It's becoming a part of me, She thought it was there once then left. She was wrong, Its been here for months, She goes to working thinking of it She lays in bed dreaming of it She's crying wanting it to leave Why me why me?! She's calling. She's screaming for help but nobody can hear she. She's listening for the sound of help, She can't hear it. She's breaking, She doesn't want nobody to see. It's 10 years ago how can she be so stupid. Why now? It could of stayed dormant for the rest of my life. Why come to me now?? Why just Why? Nobody can tell me. They all tell me to forget and move on. Why can't nobody tell me nothing. Why can't anyone tell me a way to stop this hurt. The hurt needs to go. She's making invisible thoughts to real scars. But Why? This guy took her advantage, Taken her freedom. Taken her innocence. Made her lost her life. Stolen 12 years of her life. It just doesn't end. When the pub gets knocked down, Your gone from the memory. She will only have the ones in her mind. The pub keeps you here with her. She may not have answers but she have hope. If the pub goes it just takes you away. Nobody will remember in ten years and it will all be a blur. But every day she will still be tripping over the same old story. For every memory she have of you deserves a scar. It's hard she feel like she has so many already. She don't want anymore. She feel like she havnt given my self the full length of the pain. Why you? Why would you even make me be like this? You didn't love her You wanted to steal her; Self respect Her dignity Her pride Her childhood
No words can describe what you've done to her.
If you seen how she feels would it bother you? If you seen what she has to do to take the pain away would it bother you If you seen how many tears have fallen from her face would you be bothered?
For every tear is a memory you shared It all seemed good It's just many visions of abuse.