my therapist
brought up a huge concept
that i never realized
that every relationship
was a rescue mission.
he rescued me from home
another he rescued me from him
she rescued me from him
and then he rescued me from my fear
which then bit me and i tried to rescue myself
and then i hurt everyone involved
and she rescued me from my roommates
and he then rescued me from them again
always a pattern
of rescue, catch, release
a circular motion that revolves around
my inability to see my own self-worth
and that i can actually rescue myself.
but i've been looking for someone to
pick me up for so long
that i cannot feel love without that.
how sad.
how abnormal.
where does it stem from? this idea that ...
do i need rescuing?
no...
but here i am.