I am drowning in all of this.
It's hard to sit here and pretend I am okay.
I am not okay.
You won't understand me if I say I am scared.
You'll try to hold me and tell me it'll be okay,
But that's what scares me.
I don't know how relationships work.
At all.
I am not good at it.
I am better off alone.
It is hard to explain why.
Why I am the way I am.
If you asked,
I couldn't tell you either.