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May 2018
Seated a few blocks from my house,
And I can’t stop thinking
Of how I’m
So sick of loving someone who doesn’t love me the same way

He thinks i love him like a bestfriend,
Well ,that’s what I thought too
But I just realised a few weeks ago
I love him more than I love myself
I get jealous when he talks to other girls
It’s like I want him all to myself
Well I thought he’s mine
And that’s because he gave me a bit of attention
Calling and texting me everyday for 5 months
That’s really long to me
And I’ve never had anyone look out for me like he does
Someone who tells me he loves me and I feel like it’s real
Never in my life have I loved someone like this

I hate the fact that he’s ever there for me ,and wants to listen to me,
He tells me all that goes on his life
What hurts most is when he tells me about some other girls
How they have eye contact and all
I don’t think I’ve ever been hurt like this before
He practically hurts me himself,unknowingly or knowingly
And it’s the most hurting thing in this world

I just wish I could get him out of my head

I wish I could just stop loving him
And get him out of my life
But I try,
but I can’t unlove him
I just want to distance myself from him
Which is difficult because he will ask me why I’m doing so
But I have to put myself before him
Even though I love him too much
I have to let him go

I don’t ever want him to know of how much I love him ,
and not like as a bestfriend but more
I don’t want him to know
Because I feel like
I would have betrayed him
Because he loved me as a best friend
And maybe if I also tell him,
Our relationship might get dismantled
And he might be the one to distance himself from me
Which I wouldn’t want to happen
Because I’ll be hurt the more

I’m just trying to unlove him.
Written by
Nana
762
 
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