"Why don't you just charge them?"
she asked me.
A mother is supposed to love her daughter.
The things I've done for love,
to try and fill that empty space,
disgust me.

I thought I had power;
I could use my body to turn him on,
but the more he got to know me,
the less attracted he became.
I thought if I could please men,
they would love me, they would want me,
but they see me for what I really am.

Inside I am small, pathetic, sad, afraid,
and insecure.
Real men cannot be manipulated
or tricked by my body.
Vulnerability and authenticity
are the only ways to please them.

"I wish I never had you"
she said.
A mother is supposed to love her daughter.  
That little girl is still inside me,
afraid of rejection,
hungry and desperate for love.
I abandoned myself.
I put myself in dangerous situations,
like an addict looking for a hit.

"****"
they said
while they waited for their turn.
The things I've done for love
disgust me.