I type with the curtain closed

and dabble between scud really and harsh fantasy

driven by past voices, patriarchal and matriarchal, both,


some more muffled and hidden than others,

I write with the curtains just adjacent to one another, teasing sunlight, sneaking sunlight from the countertop, from the storefront


I wish for my sanity, in solitude I wish to not forget myself, or become lost in wild reflection and lose my footing, or self that my vanity turns me handicapped, or so lost in fantasy that I babble and make no sense,

I'm asking the collective, the dieties, I understand I have willpower over this,

coincidence and chance,

rubber bands snap and rotate, hold hair, too