my dark undereye circles are hard to cover now
they are from sleepless nights spent
smoking in the backyard and listening to too much sad music
i’m tired of writing poems for you
in 2 days it will be a year since you left
you didn’t write me
you didn’t have to.


a month ago i was afraid of monsters in the dark
from the night i sat up with him and we watched horror movies
i thought of you then, too
not in the way he held me but in the way he left
we were supposed to see each other again
he stood me up


typical.



i shouldn’t look for parts of you in everything i do
but i woke up at the crack of dawn today
little sleep and weary
i snuck out to dance in the rain
these clothes cling to my frame
i wonder if you know what i look like
now


i see my doctor today
i haven’t seen her in years because she only took patients that were
sick enough
and when i gained forty pounds after the ****
she told me i could be discharged
my eating had never been worse
or lack of it


i run my fingers over my collarbones
i need to make sure they didn’t leave
i miss you and the way you made me feel beautiful
without body checks.
i want to get more tattoos
cover the parts of myself i don’t like
my thighs
my arms
my undereye circles