When I look into my past it looks like broken mirror

It started out shiny and beautiful

Then the world got a hold on me

I took the beautiful life my God and Savior gave me

And threw it on the floor.....

This world looked so good to me but I only found that I was drowning in an ocean of sand

That mirror is corroded and disgusting

And all I'm left thinking is

Why was I so stupid

So many look at me and say Jesus shines in me

If that's the case why does my past look at me and like to bring me back

Why am I still here

I sometimes wish I lived at the time of the apostle Paul

Or I wish that I would be persecuted or beaten for my faith

Because that is nothing compared to what I deserve...

I wish those shards weren't stabbed in my back but that's where they are lodged

So why can't I be like pilgrim and drop my heavy burden?

Maybe because I'm a coward

Now here I am

At the feet of the cross

I would love to say I'll just put it down by the power of Christ and I'll be on my way

Why is it every time I throw it down it comes chasing after me?

Jesus I need you

I need to drop this guilt

I need to drop this sin

Sometimes I wish you could just give me a heart transplant

Because my heart crucifies you again and again

Day after day

I'm not strong enough

I'm worn

Jesus I can't fight this on my own

I can't win

I can't carry this

All around me are those you used me to love

But after what I've done I wish you would use someone else

I guess that's just one of the awesome things about you

Is where my sin abounds your grace is more.

I need your forgiveness

I need you

Please forgive me my Lord and my God