hi, i live a wonderful life
smiles all around me
but i could have died twice
hidden things under my eyelids
that nobody else sees,
grimy thoughts collect in wastebaskets
but i still move like the breeze
always smile at the old ladies
on my way out of church
even if smiling at a time like this
makes my effing stomach lurch
oh, i'm happy, sure
got lots of blessings in my pockets
took my meds this morning,
i'm feeling just fine;
still seems a little plastic to me
these bright smiles, even real ones
that i hand out like newsletters
saying "i'm so joyful, not depressed!"
even when people ask i say that:
lying through those pearly whites
maybe twisting the truth a bit
to fit the social standard.
i am so joyful, true enough
even if smiles feel like lies sometimes.