my feet take me away
from the dark town
that shines pretty through the night and pretends everything’s
okay.
it’s not
it’s burning me from behind and it’s been hours,
i haven’t looked back yet.
i walk on the yellow line in the center of the two lane road
it's a zipper
and i am the pull
except nothing ever opens
it can’t because i’m broken.
crumpled paper to either side of me
mistakes surround me on this two-lane road
and i’ve been walking for hours
i’ve been walking forever.
and nothing's really changed
that town is right behind and gray fields of dirt are
still beside me
only i’m wearing away.
my shoes are torn and faded,
and my appearance finally matches
the rest of me.
i am a ghost,
walking on the lane divider because i am divided
and when the people go past they can not hurt me
if they can not see me.
still.
but every now and then someone will approach me from behind,
and tell me that it's all right,
i can go home now.
but they don’t know where my home is,
and i don’t either.
if i even have a home.
they’ll always look for a place for me
try fix me.
but all they’ll do is throw their words,
and bring their sticks and stones,
piling up my list of hurts
they expect me to catch their words
a gift or lifeline.
but i turn away because they’re fake.
they’re diamond because they
look pretty but they’re oh so hard
and they just chip away at me and make me fade.
and i turn away
because in grade school i was taught that looks
don’t matter.
and i fill my ears with silence because then the
words won’t hurt
so much.
so much.
and so i just keep moving on
but i still have road ahead
it's crumpled paper
but i guess everybody makes mistakes.
and i if can leave the ones behind me in the past,
maybe nobody in that town ahead will care.
and most of my scars are inside
so maybe
nobody will see them
when they judge me
and really, so what if the paper in front of me is wrinkly
and made of mistakes?
i still have blood to write my future.
it won’t be as pretty as some lives.
but it's mine.