I am alive with the feeling of phantom sensation
anticipation
of the moment foreshadowed, forewarned
it has been foretold
that this is the first day of the rest of my life.

I know it,
and yet I fear;
I feel it,
and yet I still can’t breathe
can’t stand
nails drawing blood from the back of my hand.

It would have taken less strength to forget you,
but I don’t want to.