second thoughts, or maybe thirds
chasing the loops in indecision
tracing pendulums of heart hopes &
                   just a little bit of dissatisfaction
please be angry with me
i'm not angry with myself,
i'm chasing my dreams and maybe
the stars are saying, no don't align,
or maybe i'm asking them not to
                   under my breath, in between heartbeats
where no one can hear these words
because they're my own, they're secret
a little consecrated promise to myself
i swallowed your affection like medicine
you did heal me, a little
now let me heal myself, be patient
i swear it, i will never lose your love