i used to fear that
i was going to end up
the example to teach you
a lesson that some
other lucky woman
would benefit from.

it turns out
i had it backwards and
you are the example
of a lesson for some
other poor man
to learn from
me.

you taught me pride.
aggression.
depression.
self-involvement
lack of empathy
and
lying and
            deceit.

you taught me
not to trust
even myself.

you taught me
to doubt myself.

you taught me
to put myself down.
to see ugliness
where none existed.

you taught me the meaning of regret.
and the force of a self-obsessed
and bloated man-baby.

you are a terrible lesson.
a terrible teacher.
and not very nice, either.