Today marks the worst day yet.
All the toil anguish and fear,
led to this.
The first attempt.
Mother finding out.
Therapist finding out.
Roommates not knowing.
And dealing with it all.

It's hard when it all starts with a failed test.
being a failure and the demise that comes along with it.
the weight of the world crashing down.
all hope abandoned.
nothing left to give.

but then how do you bounce back from a day like this?
the word is out of the bag now.
Mom knows,
which means dad probably will know.
Which evidentally  means everybody will know.

And now I'm the crazy guy,
the one everybody can talk about in their private family gossip.
the one the therapist tells her husband about.
the one my mother cries about each night.

How do I respond to this?
how will tomorrow feel after this has happened.

Is an attempt a life changing experience?

I tried to brush it off,
but i also tried to brush off the other attempts.
this time somebody found out.

Hopefully this will be the start of recovery.

thank you