when i can't sleep
when i can't rest
i think about all of the darkness in my head
how much sunshine does it take to chase away a tornado?

i think about my real friends
how they shine light in my life
and the tornado slows down

i think about my fake friends
how they hurt me
how i have given my all to forget
and the tornado picks up

i think about my future
college, vet school
it's a good dream, great life
just not mine
do i please everyone else or myself?
the tornado plucks me off the ground

i think about what i'm afraid to admit i want
i want to go pro
i want to spend my winters in wellington
my summers in michigan
but that's selfish
i'm pleasing myself but not everyone else
the tornado flings me against the wall

i think about how i'm not good enough
how i probably will never be good sufficient
that i will not be one to live my fantasy
i can't hurt everyone in my life like that

i think about why i don't want to hurt others
but i'm perfectly okay with destroying myself

i think that this is scary
and i think about how i run from my problems
and i think about how i should just turn
and run into the tornado