I’m not afraid of dying
I’m afraid of not living while I am alive
Because to me that’s worse than death
That’s a slow suicide
As death welcomes me into its cold arms
Comforting me with doubt, while forcing me to reject faith, ignore hope, and embrace fear
Shed a million tears
open old scars and feast on regret  

I’m not afraid of dying
I am afraid of giving up on my future  
Because to me that’s worse than death
That’s emotional torture,
as I watch my heart get eaten by vultures
Serenading my past and giving it meaning like I don’t have a future, it abuses me by feeding me stress, anxiety and depression like my past needs me to impress it
I’m just trying to move past it
It has a hold on me, it’s taking control of me

I’m not afraid of dying
I am afraid of ignoring love while it shoots me with Cupid’s arrow
As I feast on my ego and drown in my sorrow  
Lover after lover I reject like I don’t know
Searching for that idol
while I worship my insecurities
The closer they get the further I ran
Because I can’t let them see the worst of me
I never loved me
how can I let a stranger in
When I am not comfortable within

I’m not afraid of dying
I’m just afraid on living without a purpose
Loving without a purpose
Caring without a purpose
Trying without a purpose

I just want to live a life with a purpose!!!!