It starts with panic
The moment you’re left alone.
You start to question everything
You come to have known.
The awful memories
Will start to play back in your head.
Depression feeding your confusion and
Deprivation as you lay in your bed.

But you can’t sleep.

You’re too busy planning. Thinking.
Inflicting the never ending pain you’re feeling.
Everything’s a big blur as you slur every word you’re saying.
Whispering, yelling every little thing to stop
Your emotions sinking.

But you’re already too deep.

Then you’ll cry. Tears falling down
Your frozen face.
You’ll start to notice how ****** up and
Imperfect you’ve been for days.
You want to take it different,
You’ll crave nothing but change.
Everything small is now a throbbing monstrosity
And anything familiar is rearranged.

These are the stories I keep.