I’m feining
I can’t stop these pulsing feelings
It’s growth is sprouting
I don’t want it to eat me
I don’t want it to maifiest
When will my sobriety feel success
I’m tired

I’m feining
Will I give in again?
Will I restrain or give up strength
I’m hopeless
I can’t explain
Just please know this
My heart says no
My mind says yes
Which will win ?
Heart to zero
Mind & body equals 2
I don’t want this

I’m feining
I don’t want no amphetamines
I don’t want anything
Do you believe me ?
It’s not me
I don’t want to take ****

Why
Am I feeling like this
Why is depression getting to me
I feel sad , not purposely
Something in me is playing
Sad memories
I can’t stop them
I yell “Go away!”
They don’t move far
They come closer

I’m building a brick wall
They kick softly
The stones quickly fall
I’m using my strongest glue
But misery is stronger than
It used to

I’m feining
I’m nodding no
Temptation is starting to move
My head back & fourth
I’m not strong like I was before

I’m hurting
I’m not asking for this
Not asking for a hit
My minds manipulating me
So quickly
Very quickly

Should I just give in
Lose everything
I have nothing
A hit will make me forget
My life entirely
Care for nothing

No no no
Get out my head !
I’m 21 I’ve had enough of this
Please make it stop
Please remove them
I don’t like these voices pushing me to the edge !
I said no god ******
Leave me the **** alone !!!

God come save me
God you seen it happen
God if you exist save me
OnlI’m you know I don’t want this
Protect me