I am not scared of leaves
the ground will be littered
but the chill
i fear
the wind of change
the coming months carry

i fear the next season
of life and love
loss and new beginnings
departures from what i know
what i find comforting

faces i find familiar
love that is easy
warmth
that i will try and recreate
in a future i find bitter

i resist change
i continue to forget all that is coming
all i must accept

i live now
as present as i can be

i pretend i control my life
that i am the ultimate decider of my fate

but
when i close my eyes
settle between the sheets
so warm
familiar

i am wrenched from my reverie
the nest i have made in my covers
is only sheets and blankets

nothing can protect me from the coming time

so i will sit and wait
decidedly oblivious to tomorrow
focused on today
the life of the minutes ahead
watching them expire
and turn into the hours i dread

i will learn not to fight it
acceptance is a calm visage