Hey. Let me tell you something; Every morning, I'll go outside and Close my eyes and Think: Who am I? Why does it feel like There's not a person In the world that Sees me Understands me My mind is so Crowded Messy Filled with Mixed messages. Angel and demon Dark and light Wrong and right. Why do I feel so helpless? So useless? Why do I feel so small In a big world? Obstacles that challenge me Physically Emotionally Mentally Psychologically People tell me that It's my pride It's me trying to Compensate for my Own actions It's me against myself. They say that I can't do it alone. But they're wrong. Failure is not an option. Failure is not an opportunity. Failure is quitting, Giving up, On myself. On the kids that look up to you. On the friends that depend On you to be there. On the weak that rely on you To stand up against the abusers. Giving in, giving up Is not an option. Not for me. They say that it's not My burden to carry. Not my burden to carry Other people's pain Other people's suffering Other people's weaknesses Not my burden To carry the world. If you want to tell me that It's not mine to carry, It's not mine to protect, It's not mine to be strong, Then you don't know me. Hell, if you think you know me, I don't know how. Because I don't know me. Who am I? Who am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do? Not later, but now. Because now, More than ever, I just want to hide, To leave this world. To leave and To never come back. Now, more than ever, I want to die so badly. To see friends come up and ask, "How are you doing?" But to never know The real answer. Because their questions Never really were Meant to be. I can't live in the moment Or for tomorrow. I just can't. I'm breaking my own rules. Life is going to **** me. Either life or it'll be me.