My timing has never quite been right with anything I’ve done in life
Not knowing the difference between what I want and need
And somehow not getting either one regardless of how hard I try
And it’s so hard to abide by letting my head talk my heart out of feeling
But somehow the universe has a funny way of making me think that my world
That I, am indestructible
But when we’re young aren’t we all indestructible?
It isn’t until the sun sets and I’m alone that I start to wonder
If maybe I’ve been confusing weapons and words
Words as weapons
Disguising themselves as flattery to make yourself look good,
And **** do you look good

I want to drink you like whiskey on the rocks,
Savoring every drop
Of aged perfection in my vast collection
I want to feel the burn in the back of my throat
And hope that my bad decisions can only be blamed
On transition
My lowered inhibitions only bring out my honesty
And honestly I’m consciously losing my sanity
Staring at blank pages
Tired of writing apologies
For things unseen

There is an entire cosmos inside of your eyes,
Beckoning to me as though they are ready for me to explore the depths of you
Without a spacesuit, jumping into a realm of complex serenity
I’m hoping gravity will catch me
Before I fall too hard
Sick of skinning my knees
For men who don’t appreciate me
They don’t deserve me
But you...

You say that you are my silver lining
And while I’m out here climbing, some days barely surviving,
Just the way that you look at me makes me feel a little more at home
In this unfamiliar place of my life
When I’m surrounded by uncertainty
You bring me home
When my naivety gets the best of me, admittedly, mostly physically,
You are a constant, stability, you are the eye of my storm
Eerily still while the world around me is demolished
And I must be honest
Sometimes I wish you were the destruction
Maybe then this corruption wouldn’t have caught me so off guard
Your perfection is unnerving
Silver lining
As though the clouds trying to cover the sun
Are not enough to stop the shine from behind
Enemy lines
You shine

And when this chapter of my life is written
And it’s time for fresh ink on a blank page
I hope that you remain a part of the story
That you helped write in kindness and hope
A kaleidoscope of opportunity leading to immunity
Of letting myself sink
I always use ink because lead can be erased
And you are unerasable
I’m insatiable and it’s debatable
That maybe I’m just lonely
That I just need someone to hold me and tell me I’m okay
But it’s the way you call to say hello and ask about my day
That puts a smile on my face
I know you like that
It’s the little things in life that make me happy
So thank you for letting me be sappy
And emotional when I know I’m a lot to handle sometimes

Maybe someday what I want and need will be the same
And the universe will align to let me have both in the same breath
And then I won’t need a silver lining
Because I will finally be content
But until that day,
Please don’t stop shining.