****** was alike my father.
If i disappointed his definition of his persona as offspring
I got beaten until I frothed.
If I disobeyed those who claimed to care
They ruled on me like Stalin.
If I wanted a lover - I could not have her in the place we shared.
I was supposed to live and enjoy little
If I dared to question such ideals.. I angered the "great leader."
I'm supposed to be enlightened to supply my income with his state
and expect not one time
That he'd help out his own comrade.
My relatives were alike Fascist orders.
I wasn't what "pure successful people were made of"
I was disregarded and exiled, forever.
I taught myself love, care for others...
Yet, when the chips are down, why cannot I get help to make myself a better life
out of love for another?
Not all men can "do it themselves" or "Find their own way"
without the holy "red cross" intervention.
So why this moral devastation?
Why , if they show times of lessening their ruling care and show their hearts..
why does it touch me so deeply?
Who do I stick around to relive another chapter of "spinning wheels."
Why can't they understand that because they live alike this ruling
why do I?
If I am their cared "for friend"
Why can't they allow me to be myself?
Not a dying eye?
I wish I could wake them.
I care deeply.
On Planning to leave, I realize their lives were lived just as tragic as mine....
So why do, as I plan, to leave the situation, should I become so weepy?