Sometimes, it feels like I’m in a driverless car.
In the passenger seat with no control over what happens to me.
I ride in the car, watching life go by.
There were so many things I could’ve done differently.
Maybe if I had said this, or maybe if I had done that.
But I’m only a passenger in a driverless car.
I can’t stop it. I just watch life go on knowing there will be another mistake.
I watch as people who I remember loving and appreciating are left behind as the car drives on.
I want it to stop.
I want to drive myself.
I don’t want the car deciding where I should go, or who I drive past.
I want to do what I want, but I can’t.
I can’t let myself take the wheel.
‘It knows what’s best.’ I tell myself, and then I look out the window again.
Watching life go by.