I said I put a lot of things behind me but, I lied so..
My life is complicated. I’m lost in this generation. I mean.. I hate my state of mind. I’m lost like a balloon trying to find its way, And you see.. Today is my birthday. But I’m trapped in my mind, I can’t seem to ever have a good time. I’m not the type that you bring home to mama in my opinion. I’m damaged goods I must say. I’m woman crazy. My body’s lazy. And that’s no where near it all. I been in sadness for years just hoping soon you would call.
I wish I had someone that would love me. And I mean really know and love me. Like, effortless. But I’m so blind and messed up from another chick. And that along with everything else caused such a riff. Now my ex and everyone around me has the power. Now I’m guarded and get faded for hours.
But I mean.. Besides crazy, got anger issues, I’m spoiled and I; Run from my problems when I’m the only thing that can solve them. I sat one time all alone but with a full revolver. My life is out of order. I lost my faith in some things, Mainly in pure love. I’d sell my soul just to have your heart but that ain’t enough.
While I got missed calls from any and everybody. Don’t wanna listen to anybody.
It’s so many reason why I’m complicated. I mean.. Or maybe I’m just high again.
That’s really only the other feeling that can help me while I try and fill up this space. Until I’m sitting in the mirror staring at my own face. Wiping all my tears on a day to day base. I got so much sadness and hatred running at everyones’ pace. This is my last poem before I lock myself all away. It’s complicated.
Writing and losing feeling. Of heart breaks and commitments, A couple catchy songs with my brothers; It would be nice if you listened. Or even ever read my poetry. Behinds those words is a broken me. I can barely see, what my future holds. Im no longer chasing hoes, I’m trying to find the yellow brick road. But lost awareness.
Now I’m a drunk. Now I’m a pothead. And all the seeds I planted, they are now dead.
Having mood swings like the weather that’s floating me. I no longer wanna be. I swear it’s complicated
Don’t drown yourself pretending to be deep. It’s too complicated. And I can’t swim but I rather drown in her sea. It’s so complicated. Should I retire and settle down from writing. It’s too complicated.