You see i have a condition
One you’ve surely never heard of Because it doesn’t exist
When my mom was asked to describe it to my therapist she said
“I think she just has a hard time dealing with things...with everything. Even normal things.”
Which is very much true honestly, i can’t even look at pretty girls and not throw a pity party
In fact sometimes a pity party feels better than the sixteenth birthday party i would have had were it not for all of my own problems
Like not being able to accept that all my birthday party decorations HAD to be pink (gags)
Of course there is full truth to me not always being able to handle normal things
Heck i had a mental breakdown when i couldn’t figure out how to put my gift card on amazon (btw there was no way for me to do so)
And again when i couldn’t decide for myself if i wanted mint green in my hair or not since it was only going to be a small amount
And again every time my boyfriend says “you need to decide somethings for yourself. i’m not making this decision for you.”
I can barely get through getting a normal amount of homework done, not to mention the fact that i have extra because of my special classes and my high ranked school
By the time it’s all over and i’ve stepped off the bus i’m done and have to force feed myself the knowledge like i have to force feed myself food because i’m just too skinny
Once again i can’t eat as much as everyone else and the thought of eating in front of family every holiday kills me
How i’m still alive at this point when i can barely deal with having to unload a dishwasher i don’t know
I don’t mind things, I just don’t know how to handle them
I guess the way my mother put it was right
I simply have a hard time handling everything.