Royal baby Charlotte! Why the fuss?
What’s she ever done for us?
Half the nation’s  overweight.  Zounds!
She’s already piling on the pounds.

Alas!  Great-Grand-Queen-Mother Lizzie,
is not around to order up  the fizzie.
Hushabye!  Like RIP Backstairs Billy, true,
Nanny will be always there for you.  

Food banks you will never know.
Nor will you shop in Lidl or Tesco.
Still, there will always be a queue
of eager suitors lining up for you.

So sleep pretty  babe - don’t frown,
in future you might wear a crown.
But, just for now, a wee white bonnet:
HER ROYAL HIGHNESS  knitted  neatly on it.

TOBIAS