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Mar 2018
Why
When I heard that you betrayed me
And talked behind my back
A million questions arose
In the back of my mind.

Why?
Why didn't you tell me?
Why not face to face?
Why did you feel this way?
Why didn't you try to save us?

What?
What made you feel this way?
What did I do wrong?
What do you want from me?
What did I ever do to you?

How?
How long have you been doing this?
How much of it was real?
How much do you love me?
How did I not notice?

Did you?
Did you love me?
Did you love me like I loved you?
Did you realize you took my life?
Did you realize that you were my whole life?

All these questions in my mind
I gather up the courage
To ask you all the questions
To see what answers I will find.

You look at me in surprise
You always deny, deny, deny
But in my eyes
You cannot lie

I run away in anger
I run in despair
I run in regret
Of all these years.

All these happy memories
Going down the drain
Is this what you wanted?
Was this your aim?

Then I decide to confront you again
I pick up my phone
Dial your number
And you pick up.

I scream,"What did I ever do to you?
What didn't I give?
Did you want this friendship
Only to see it break?"

You scream back,"I never said that!"
"You liar!" I yell.
"I trusted you, I believed in you!
You think I'm nothing?"

I hang up, knowing that your reply
Will just be a series of denies
Dreading my life, which is stupid
Because I have nothing left.
jihan kim
Written by
jihan kim  17/Non-binary/Korea
(17/Non-binary/Korea)   
521
 
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