How are you not to be damaged, When the one that you think is supposed to love, Doesn't really love you. I mean it feels like there is supposed to be some sort of unwritten rule somewhere That states if you have a a kid you must love them. I'm not just talking about muttering those three little words. That can be scribbled on paper, or typed in an email. I'm talking about a deep rooted, carved in your heart, can be felt from across the world, no mistaking, pure and sacrificial love. Tangible love, seen, and felt, and heard. No I don't need money from you. I would prefer to feel like I'm worth knowing Rather than the feeling of my forgiveness being bought. See how am I supposed to feel that others in life will like me, If my own parent doesn't care to even know me. Yes the world is a wonderful place and I understand the feeling of being caged. So wouldn't it have been better in the beginning if you had never even made the effort? So that when you decided that the world was worth more and that I was just an anchor to a place you didn't care for. Wouldn't it have been easier for me, Instead of feeling like I was a piece of trash tossed over your shoulder missing the waste basket because you didn't even care to look as you threw it. Not even put in a rightful place, left to wonder is it something I did wrong? Only to grow up and find out it was much worse it wasn't anything I did, it is the simple fact that I wasn't enough. Wasn't enough for you, to much work to wipe off my ***** face. Wasn't enough for you to pick up and kiss the ****** knee that I scrapped. Wasn't enough for you to watch me as I grew, to give me advice on making life's toughest decisions. Wasn't enough for you to see that although it was good for you to escape the cage from which you felt confined to, you didn't realize that I had followed you in, and on your way out without so much as a backwards glance, you locked me in. Maybe I got it wrong. Maybe there shouldn't be some unwritten rule that makes you love your children. Because there shouldn't be anything that makes you love. Maybe I just need to realize that some people are loved and others just aren't. Some people are capable of loving. Some are only capable of hurting those who have a twisted look on life Thinking that by just being someone's own flesh and blood qualifies to being loved. Only to be taught the truth. It doesn't.