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Mar 2018
I don't bewail what I've been
All- throughout at darkest moons-
Just like anyone else has its
Ups and downs,
Moderately high and mostly
Are at the lowest state o' mind.
I've been so blissful
Motions-oomphs so eventful
But can't beat the enivitable
That I could ne'er say,
'I invoke this don't befall me.'
 It's part of life that defines who I am.
There's naught in life
And faces many adversities and
Such as my naysayers
Life as I know it, be farther up.
Bewildering as it may seemed
Into God's eye seeing and accounting
What I have lived for
Intermittently the hardest
Intermingled by far steadfastly
Easing out o' dealing with any difficulty
Perplexity is thine an acknowledgement
Thus a realization on a lala land
I’ve reserved and took it in stride.
Unto find out a painstakingly-tackle
Likely, to procure a maze
Where I will have to do
and redecorate stuffs
That I probably don’t deserve.
Everyone calls it the shots
with thy unwanted troubles;
How I approach with it makes
A lot o' differences
between each one of us;
So whatever there is,
mindboggler,
ordeal or misfortunes,
Lonesomeness to a love's eye
Why am looking for love?
Why am keep on searching?
as it may sounds- creepy..
as it may looked like - eerie
Bethink that everything passes;
If grass so withers..
But God ne'er change nor faith
It don't and nothing changed
Just because I couldn't handle the stress.
However, I am proud of all any blossom
I have made what I sow
and I'm here to show
people like me -does get better,
and also able to talk not a hater
on my bad days
and good days
Yea,  I know there are a lots o' longings
Running hours beneath the blues
In struggle or having a hard times
When my head gets locked
 in a downward spiral mode
And I need someone to pull me out of it.
But independennce made me one out of it
I could be the person who I treasured be,
My episodes will give me the infallible anchor To subsist the life I hanker about.
So will I keep on going ?
Whist will I continue to be
The constancy of change
It may be odd to say,
But it will be okay.
Long road sides to trek
Ah! price is steep and pay
But dare I say...
It is worth the leap of faith
For some reason, God hath promise
Instilled in me that everything passes;
Yet nothing stays.
While the world's conflicts
With my standards
I've also made it through a lot.
Believe me when I say it,
I hate liars
And I don't live in a lie either
But still I've got what it takes
And I can't go on believing lies after lies
all throughout stillness- thoroughfares
Deep down inside are really looking like
 questions and doubts
I ne'er took it straight to the heart...
Just thought of it as two worlds apart.

So it stands right now, that I feel wholeness...
Regardless of the past grievances
 that lives within my soul
Even I pulled it through
Amidst all paradox
That I have been
My family only
Whom I GOT
So far out many foundation I built
Thine earth much stigma to tear us apart
Thou left me to wonder who really cares
Whom I felt so warmth for which I yearned
Benighted tearless nights and days
Hope and pray for peace of mindsets
Thy thine put my heads up for God sakes!
Joy mac villanueva
Written by
Joy mac villanueva  58/F/San bruno CA.
(58/F/San bruno CA.)   
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