i am the type
to feel
a rainbow of
emotions
in one day

you will meet me
with a smile
infectious laughter
joy
and leave me
in tears
and ruins

i sing to soothe
my battle wounds
from the war i wage
with the world
where the people in it
blown into my life
eventually
abandon me
and run away
with someone else
into the sunset

how could this be?

im hard to love
i require too much attention
too much support
i am too loud
and i laugh too much

i
feel
too
much

despite the hell i went through
my heart is open
and full of love

and yet
even so
i am alone
and my friends
do not care
that i would drown myself

(i told them this)

to get away from the pain
the truth
that no one would come running
to pull me from the water
and breathe life
back into my small frame

my heart is broken