it's 10:58 pm here
i have stumbled down the stairs one too many times
and i can see the look on their faces
when i say i'm okay
i'm okay
one too many times seems repetitive
repetition is good
repetition reminds me of the clock ticking inside my head
but the clock counts calories instead of time
as i count the seconds passing through these hunger pains
like contractions

should have bought a pregnancy test today
i didn't
i'm good at not doing things
like going to class
and eating

this bowl of rice and beans
seems all too familiar and i watch myself in the mirror as
i
eat
it's a trick i've learned
it helps me stop

the day i found out spicy food can curb appetite was
revolutionary.
i had always hated it
but sriracha became a new best friend
i've lost 30 pounds in 6 months.