just put your head under
she said
slowly let yourself
sink
into the stillness
no waves
only stillness

water
sitting nicely at your neck
covering your naked body
the last place you
will lay to rest

stare at the wall
your mind whirling
thousands of thoughts
yet only one is full
of colour and attention

just put your head under
she said
make your way into
the clear ocean
that is your bath
the host
to your last bed

may you slip
and let the water
fill you up
take over your small body
gradually overpowering
your will
to breathe
your breath the last
evidence
that you are still alive

your body is
your anchor
the water accepting
you as if you were always
linked to it
a chain
connecting

this last chain breaks
snaps at this weakness
you are feeling
all over
you gasp
but only to allow
the bath
to entrap you
within its walls
envelop you
and seal you in

just put your head under
she said
let the suffering sink into blackness
gobble you whole
like a monster from your dreams

you vanish without a trace

all you wanted was to feel loved
for exactly as you are
and yet even for this world
this was too much to ask for