There are times at the eve of dawn
When im ripped from sleep
To add clues to what i'm pondering upon
Why does my heart always seem to strain ?
Drowning in guilt and isolated pain
Singing myself odes to soothe my fears
Fears of dying as death creeps near
I feel a smile beginning to form
But its at the deep depths of my soul
Made this way because my subconscious took a toll
Im standing atop of a trapdoor
With the lever in my hand
Given to me because my demons knew i had a plan
I find myself debating to flip the switch
That will send me plummeting into a dark and filthy ditch
I've been struggling for awhile now , why make it worse ?
Why cause my parents pain as they stare at my casket through an X-Ray hearse
Do i truly want to be a potential casualty
Or do i just want to live a life away from personal tragedies?