I just don't know what to do with myself
She's only what my mind dwells on
Her eyes that drew me in
And her sweet tender voice
Yearning for a moment to be with her
Just her and I
Alone

Caught in awe
As her hair blows with the wind
And her pure, pretty complexion
Looking my way, I'm mesmerized
Wordless and nervous
I just don't know what to say

I know if I continue on this selfish path
I'll be left alone in despair
But, she's consumed me
Never will I be free?
Until I let go of this feeling
That has left me reeling

Her immaculate beauty taunts me
Reminding me she will never be mine
Strictly taboo and unorthodox
I guess in the end I'll be fine

Is it merely infatuation?
Intense, yes...but short-lived, no
Will she be my salvation?
To be redeemed I'll never know

I can't resist her addictive presence
As I leave subtle hints of my admiration
Mentally she sends me to a place of pleasance
If I persist, it will just end in adulteration

One sided from the start
Only in my dreams it's real
Trying to coax a spark
Can't seem to set her aflame
Never would I keep her ablaze

Doubting my confidence
I'm proud when I'm alone
Don't know how to go about it on my own
I'm king of nothing, nowhere, and nothing in-between

My adoration echos to the ground
Falling flat without a sound
Left behind in silence
Guilty of this emotional violence

Stuck in a depressive rut
Sinking deeper and deeper
Shackled, unable to be freed
Strapped in for a joyless ride
Stripped of all decency
****** into the void
Swallowed hole

Cody Shull, 2018