It's been a while
Since I've sipped from the warm lips of that coffee shop we loved together
In case you've forgotten, I like to try the chai of every single new place I go, to see if it contains the same wholeness as the others

I've learned that I do not show affection like I used to, with grabbing hands and tender eyes
No, I pull the tendrils of adoration back into my throat and coil them between my reserved palms until I have someone to dress in my gentle love again

At this point in time, I do not miss anyone as much as I did a year ago
Meaning: I might still miss him but I've forgotten what it was like to wring my happiness from his grey eyes and his dancing laughter
Meaning: I've mustered up all the strength in my weary heart to forget the videos of us being so in love it hurt

My smile comes easier now, not like the glaring sun on a summer day, but like the hesitant shimmer after a rain shower
I can stay awake for longer because I don't wish to sleep the days away quite as much
The nights bring me comfort in the sense that they know more about being lonely than even I do

At this moment in time, I am not a girl like you knew me, small and dependent and bossy and too independent, all at once
I am a bigger, warmer, friendlier, meaner, tougher, all at once
If before I was a lamb, I am by no means a lion, but I am by no means any less than a star